iwasherefirst | 010 [Accidental Video]

[He doesn't know what she's talking about until she continues on, and he does sober fairly quickly when he understands what she's asking. In as far as he can tell, he wouldn't even be able to. Choose not to regenerate when Rose is gone? Sure. Apparently he had already in that one parallel world. (Because really, he doesn't know how he wouldn't have been able to get out of there.) Not grasp any possible chance at spending time with Rose? Impossible. At least to him now.] I won't. [Quietly.] We have a... It's different. I wouldn't do that to you; hurt you like that.

[It softens it a bit but the mood definitely just switched again. He attempts to follow her back to the levity.] All pink and yellow and peachy-fuzz with oddly firm mattresses. Very Rose of you.

[She honestly didn't mean to ruin the mood but she wanted to be clear about it. That's absolutely not allowed. As far as not regenerating without her, she wouldn't approve of that either but the thought that he wouldn't hasn't occurred to her. She assumes Racnoss was a mistake rather than a plan. She still can't grasp that he needs her that much. In response to his promise, she wraps her arms tighter around him and kisses him, making sure to let gratitude, relief and love bleed through so that he feels them. She breaks the kiss after a moment.]

M'not sure I could do not Rose of me being so very Rose and all naturally.

[It was really a kind of resignation and taking an opportunity when it arose than anything. If it hadn't been there, then, it would have just been whatever the next thing was, although of course he was saying at the time that he needed to stay and make sure things went according to plan. If he hadn't had to get Donna out - which is what it was at the time: saving Donna, not the other way around - then yes, very likely a captainly sort of going down with the ship.

But he assumed she got that from travelling, since there must have been other worlds where she wasn't there, or hadn't met his Ninth self, or he didn't return the second time, or whathaveyou, that were in similar states. If she doesn't realise it yet, he's absolutely not going to tell her. It's a little terrifying being that reliant on someone else, and doesn't seem fair to put that burden on them anyway. Especially if you love them so much.

But yes. He's going to get somewhat addicted to this constantly being shown emotions thing at this rate. It's an insane amount of reassurance, and he's ridiculously grateful for her. He can't show her as directly but hopefully it's showing in the look he's giving her.]

It might be very difficult. All those human instincts and whatnot. Probably easier and better in the long run to just go with the rosiness. [Thought.] Do you actually like roses? [He's got the feeling this is something she might have said before but at the moment he doesn't remember.]

[In some ways, she understands. If she'd ever considered for a moment that she wouldn't find a way back to him, she might have done the same thing.

And she does get that from the other worlds. The world where she hadn't been born had been very hard on her. After that, she'd avoided herself when possible. She had caught a glimpse of herself working in another department store looking exhausted and utterly resigned with life. She assumed it was a dimension in which she'd never met him or he hadn't come back a second time. She'd ached so bad with wanting to see him after that, wanting to make sure that he was real, that she had met him. She'd held on so tightly to her TARDIS key that day that it's worn ridges into her skin she wasn't sure would ever disappear.

She still wears the key on a chain under all of her clothes. It's a tailsman as much as anything and it makes her feel safe and secure.

It's the best possible use of the ability as far as she's concerned. She does see that gratitude in his face and she leans forward to kiss the bridge of his nose lightly.] Are you tellin' me to use more pink, Doctor? [She teases him about it and then shrugs. In a round about way she's said it before but she doesn't mind talking about it again.] They're pretty in a formal sorta way. Rather have daisies or wildflowers...that sorta thing. Roses seem like an apology, sorta tryin' to suck up, y'know?

[On one hand he feels like that's absolutely right, and why would anyone ever not wear a TARDIS key, and on another knowing that she still did it even being trapped in a universe where it didn't mean anything is all kinds of gloriously wrong and beautiful.]

I haven't got a problem with pink. I don't want you decorating my room with it, but you use all the pink you want. I can totally handle pink. [And teasing. He listens to the flower bit and sort of looks at the ceiling to consider it before nodding a couple of times.] I hadn't really thought about it. For some reason I don't get a lot of flowers. I can see that though, yeah. Kind of get tossed around a lot, don't they? Weddings, funerals. Too versatile. Or I guess not versatile enough, actually.

[Regardless of whether it's wrong or not, it's who Rose is now. One of these days he'll find it tucked inside her shirt.]

Comfortable enough with your manliness, yeah. [She's teasing him, nudging his hip the slightest bit with the heel of her foot since her leg is still wrapped around him. She leans in and kisses his cheek.] I'll buy you flowers, Doctor. [She ponders that a bit] Think they just...get used so much that it's almost somethin' you don't think 'bout. Sendin' flowers? Might as well send roses. They're ordinary.

[One of these days probably remarkably soon, the way the other thread is going.

Well he nudges right back against her foot with his hip then, in as much as that's possible.] I am, yeah. You'd never have gotten me into those hot pants otherwise. Barely did anyway. [The flowers comment wasn't meant to elicit purchasing since he really wouldn't know what to do with them aside from maybe try and work out how to put them in stasis so they don't turn into a 'Here, I love you, watch these die' sort of gift. He's still mostly looking up at the ceiling during their conversation, because otherwise she's too close for him to actually see properly without glasses.] If there's one thing I've learned within the last few years, it's that roses are anything but ordinary.

[Excellent point. The mention of the hot pants make her giggle.]

They really were strangely attractive on you. Ought to have gotten them too. More clothes we could share. [Which is why she included the fish. She's looking at him but mostly focusing on his jaw/ear/corner of his mouth and his comment earns him another kiss. This time to the corner of his mouth.] You gave 'em a chance to be extraordinary when nobody else did.

[He shakes his head.] Uh-uh. Nope. Far too tight. Very uncomfortable. [Yes, he quite likes the fish. Very good idea, the fish. The kiss makes him smile and he looks over at her for a few moments before looking back up and smiling a bit more.]

More the fool them.

Not sure those sorts of clothes are ever comfortable. [It's a rule. the more skin an item of clothes shows, the less comfortable it is. She thought the fish would be an excellent idea.]

Mmmm m'all right with the way everythin' turned out. Like where I ended up. [This statement is reinforced with her snuggling a bit closer to him.]

[He'd found them to be particularly confining with the way they were made and doesn't feel like delineating that's why he found them so uncomfortable. He'll have to work out what to name it when he gets it. Probably come home from work and shout for her and ask if it's got a name. If it doesn't he'll give it one.

He looks down and over at her as she snuggles into him, and he settles his arm around her as she does do, snuggled in together.] Yeah? S'not so bad here, really. Bit odd, that. That it isn't too bad. I don't know. But I'm glad you're happy.

[If she thinks about it, she'll realize why he found them uncomfortable. Of course the fish doesn't have a name! That's half the fun, naming him. She'll suggest Mickey. Of course that means he'll have to take extra care to keep the fish alive then.]

Are you? [She looks up at him as well as she can. The expression on her face hopeful and questioning.]

[He hopes she doesn't go back and replay that memory very often then. If she suggests Mickey he will laugh and then suddenly abscond with the fish to his room for a day or two. Then he'll come out with the fish like nothing happened at all, and if she asks, the fish's name is something she probably doesn't understand initially but will later. He'd name it something that meant something to him ages back. Gallifreyan. And then explain it to her.]

Am I what? [He replies almost instantly but somewhat distractedly, and if she just waits for about two seconds she hears him go] OH. Am I happy? [He looks over at her, slightly cross eyed due to the proximity, and then looks away.] Yeah. Yeah, I'm happy here. [Grin at her.]

[Hey, she likes that memory. Still've got to decide if they're going to go back to the flat from that so she can prance 'round in the costume or let it drop. She'll like the fish bit, learning more about him and all.

His response gets a very big grin out of her.] Took us a while to get here but s'definitely worth it.

[Fish naming will likely be a sort of make-up for not having all his things from the TARDIS and being surrounded by them. As for the thread, either one really is fine with me. We can try going on and if it doesn't really do anything drop it then?

He's probably happy with far more reservations than she is, but there are definitely legitimate perks about being here.] It did, yeah. Who'd've thought another parallel little pocket of a world would be the thing?

[She hadn't thought about that but it's a very good thing and she may have to give him more sorts of little things he can make his own. True. He doesn't have the sort of benefit (?) of having one nonnegotiable condition that makes everything alright the way she does.]

And I sorta sworn parallel anythin' before this.

[I need to go find that Gallifreyan con-lang thing again and see what I can do with it for naming; I've sucked at helping with that the last few weeks.] Well, in our defence, up until very recently our track record with parallel words had been a bit horrible. Like, really, terribly, rather-spend-time-with-your-mother horrible.

[You've been busy. The comment about Jackie makes Rose smirk a bit. Really she can't argue with him. She adores her Mum but she's better in small doses and really she's particularly hard on the Doctor.]

My opinion on 'em's definitely changin'. [She tilts her head up and presses a kiss to his jawline.]

[There are times when Jackie is okay - this regeneration certainly gets on better with her than the former one did - but she is always going to have the undercurrent of being slightly frightening, and it's honestly just more fun to make comments about her than anything else.] Gotta say I'm feeling a bit more positive about them myself. Always been a bit tricky to deal with. Usually the sheer variation and minute differences in history are enough to get you in trouble. Guess knowing everything is completely different from the get-go helps more with that.

[Well for all intents and purposes (though he won't admit to it) she's his mother-in-law. He's not supposed to always get along with her and she is supposed to be frightening.] And that you're not ruinin' anything by bein' here. Nobody's missin' you at home. The world isn't endin'. YOu can just be while you're here.

[Nope. He won't admit to that for aaaaaaaaaages.

He listens to her words and wonders how many of those statements actually apply to him anyway, about having somewhere else to be or people to miss you, home, but does know what she's talking about. He's just reading another layer to her words that even he doubts she knows is there.] Yeah, s'a bit nice. Being. Takes some getting used to.

[There's a time he will admit to it?

She would miss him. She did miss him when he was gone and if you ask her, he had a somewhere else to be: with her. He forgets as much as she thinks she belongs in his world, she also thinks he belongs in hers.]

New things always do. Know often I got lost in the TARDIS 'fore I figured out how to get 'round?

[Maybe if he's very, very drunk he'll admit reluctantly that she has to be, since he's all but commonlaw-married to Rose.

He forgets that constantly. And then feels bad about it afterwards, but never enough, apparently, to fix the mindset.

[He grins at the memories.] I remember you needing to be shown where the kitchen was about twelve times that one week. Old girl was having a bit of a joke though, so that wasn't all you.

[So in the realm of highly unlikely. Got it. Jackie will love the commonlaw part. That's a lecture in the making. 'What my daughter's not good enough...' yup. Hear it already.

Maybe one of these days he'll at least remember that part.]

Figures she'd have to give me a hard time at first.

[God, it's like the maybe-baby thing with Donna. Just can't win with some people.]

Welllll... She's a bit... over-protective, sometimes. Seems to think my companion-screening process can be a bit reckless. She liked you pretty early on though.

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he decided to just... run away with all his feelings on this reply, idk

That is always encouraged, especially with him. And she went insane too. Also more headcanon

headcanon is the bestcanon, especially in a show where there's nearly nocanon.

/continues to make it up as I go

FOUR FOR YOU

Woot! What did I get four for?

being awesome.

In that case, I shall take them!

you'd better

yes Sir

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