010 [Accidental Video]

[iwasherefirst]

[The video blips on, focusing on Rose lying tangled in the blankets and sheets on her bed. There are tears trickling down her cheeks. The device is obviously sitting on the nightstand next to the bed. She squirms and twists a bit, further entangling herself.]

Regenerate.

[It's said in a voice that's half demand, half plea. The tears come a bit faster now and she mumbles a good deal more in her sleep but most of it is undecipherable. After several seconds of this her tears turn to outright sobs and she sits up abruptly with a sound that is more scream than words but if one had to turn it into a word it would be:]

Noooooooooooooo.

[ooc: Rose has the Doctor's am_i_being_rude memory of this]

Comments

[am-i-being-rude.livejournal.com]

[The Doctor barges into her room without really thinking about it, having heard her on multiple levels from the other room. He's almost entirely forgotten the vision he saw himself in his hurry to come make sure she's not being eaten by anything untoward or something. Room checked and cleared, he quickly moves over to the bed and kneels next to it, looking up at her, hands sort of hovering around shoulders, then arms, then thighs, then just around her, not really sure where to put them but wanting to offer comfort somehow.]

Rose! Rose, it's all right, I'm here!

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

[The Doctor may have doubts about what to do but she doesn't. The moment she realizes he's there, she throws her arms around him, squeezing tightly and burying her face against his shoulder.]

You were hurting so much.

[am-i-being-rude.livejournal.com]

[He's a little thrown back by the force of the hug, mostly physically since he was kneeling and she just lunged at him from the top of the bed. But he balances, and hugs her back just as tight. Bits of his own vision are starting to come back as well.]

...What? Rose, I'm not in any pain.

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

[If she knew he'd had his own vision (memory of hers) she'd be a bit more distant right now, almost ashamed but defiant at the same time. Instead she just clings tightly to him but it's not in any sort of desperate way. She's hugging him for his sake, not hers.]

No. You were. After me, I think. Martha was there and he died. I don't know who he was but he died.

[am-i-being-rude.livejournal.com]

[He gradually relaxes from the hug a little so he can look up at her properly, since what she's saying really doesn't make a whole lot of sense and whatever context clues he can find in her expression would be super helpful right about now. He'll probably tell her about his own once he realises this has been a mutual thing somehow, but for the moment he isn't immediately connecting them.]

Martha was where? Who died? [Because those variables sadly don't actually narrow a lot down. Well, they narrow it enough for an inkling. But that would be weird.]

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

[Her hands go to her hair and rakes them half through it, trying to put what she remembers in order. It's harder than it seems, particularly with all of the Doctor's emotions that came attached to the memory.]

I don't know. He was wearing a suit and he got shot by a woman in red. I think--I think he was another Time Lord...but I remembered it wrong. You're the only Time Lord left.

[am-i-being-rude.livejournal.com]

[Well that's going to make him stiffen for a moment. She just gets a very quiet] What. [at first.]

That was a while ago. It's all fine now.

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

[She pulls back just enough to look at him, her hands sliding to cup his face a bit.]

Who was he?

[am-i-being-rude.livejournal.com]

[There is honestly no small amount of hesitancy before he replies.] I used to know him.

[And then because he can't not possibly divert the conversation if at all awkward or focused on him, even if it is ridiculously obvious or to the point.] How did you fix the parallel world? The one around Donna.

SO MUCH HEADCANON ON HOW THIS WORKED

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

[She wants to ask more questions and she probably will eventually but right now the amount of pain the Doctor was in in the memory is curtailing the questions. She doesn't want to cause him anymore pain. She sort of mumbles an apology, the sort of 'I'm sorry for your loss' kind of thing. She'll get to her questions eventually. For the moment his diversion works. She gives him a sort of furrowed brow and there's a hint of guilt about her expression when she shakes her head.]

We used the TARDIS as a power source and a navigation, ran the power through a circuit. She was trying to find you, tellin' us sort of the coordinates. Those got put into a computer, the computer told the circuit where to send...when Donna showed up, it used her to find where she needed to go to change her own mind, her decision so that it lead to you. Why?

BEAUTIFUL HEADCANON. Also sorry he's a dick.

[am-i-being-rude.livejournal.com]

[He has no doubt that he hasn't dodged the questions forever but this is a good start. Gives him time to work out how he's going to dodge them later.]

I saw it. Just now. Before I came in here. The process, the turn, the choice you gave her.

Thank you! She expects it from him.

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

[She stiffens up a bit, swallowing hard because if he saw her memories the way she saw his. She goes a bit pale and definitely looks ashamed as she pulls away from him, tucking her knees up to her chest. After a moment her jaw sets and she lifts her chin a bit. She's definitely defensive.]

I had to. I knew once I found you, we'd make things better.

Is that a... good thing?

[am-i-being-rude.livejournal.com]

[He moves up to sit beside her on the bed now, unwilling to let her put that much distance between them, but giving her the space to close in on herself if she wants. He's turned toward her with one leg tucked underneath him and the other hanging off the side of the bed, resting on the floor.

He watches her carefully for a while before replying again, quietly.] You did. You didn't want to. You didn't want that choice to be made by anyone. You get so angry with me when I do it. [The Donna position, not the forcing the choice position.] Did you know it would work?

[azhdarchidae.livejournal.com]

[Janine sees this some time later. She sounds rattled, rather less cool than she likes to appear.]

What was that?

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

I--one of the Doctor's memories...somehow.

[And then a pause because Janine doesn't sound like herself.]

Are you okay?

[azhdarchidae.livejournal.com]

Memories, huh. Fine. You just, uh, seemed upset.

[She doesn't say 'not that I care or anything', but consider something similarly defensive and patently untrue to be hovering around. Janine likes to be seen as not caring much about anything.]

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

Yeah. It was...not a good memory. [Her voice and her expression makes that very clear. She's still red eyed and upset looking.]

[azhdarchidae.livejournal.com]

Doesn't sound like it was.

So are you okay? Gonna be okay?

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

[Janine's "concern" makes Rose tear up fresh.]

Yeah. I'm gonna have to ask him questions 'bout it when it's a little less raw but...yeah.

[And a grateful smile.]

Thank you.

[azhdarchidae.livejournal.com]

All right then.

Don't mention it.

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

You haven't gotten anyone's memories today, have you?

[azhdarchidae.livejournal.com]

Thought I was daydreaming. It was a little odd, but - this is the point where I'd shrug, if I could.

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

M'pretty sure the Doctor daydreamed my memories. He doesn't sleep much but you don't have anythin' in your head that's not yours?

[azhdarchidae.livejournal.com]

What counts as mine?

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

Guess I don't really understand?