[01] We've been forever yet we've only just begun

[iwasherefirst]

They've already got the technology. They just haven't figured out how to track him yet. It takes Rose months and more jumps than she cares to count. Sometimes she thinks she's going to be pulled apart at the seams with all the jumping back and forth through time. They warn her that the odds are against her. They tell her she's only got this one planet to work with and he's got an entire Universe plus timelines they can't ever access. She tells them she'll take her chances.

When she ends up in San Francisco 1999, the equipment malfunctions. The jacket won't work and she's so frustrated, so tired so bereft that she almost cries right there in the middle of the wharf. Instead she pulls it together like he would and finds a place to sleep for a little while. Once she's had some rest it's time for fish and chips. They're almost as good as home and they go a long way toward making her feel better.

Right then. Might as well do some research while she's here. See if she can find out if he's been here recently. If he's scheduled to show up anytime soon. Library then a call into UNIT. Despite having a plan, she doesn't act on it. She'll wander a bit more, navigate her way through the people on the wharf and enjoy the day. She's never been to San Francisco in any time.

Comments

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

That makes Rose smile and she shakes her head. "Just meant you'd look like him. With the red and green together. Sort of colors used to decorate for Christmas."

They can always walk around a bit until then.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Well, yes, I suppose."

He looks over his shoulder at the wharf. It's a beautiful day outside, but he can't really see that. The world looks gray.

"I think I've lose my sense of humor."

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

She hesitates, warring with herself against what she needs to do and what she thinks she should do. Finally she gets up and slides into the booth with him. She's not close enough to press her shoulder against his or her hip against his leg. She won't crowd him that much. Not yet.

"Good thing I showed up then."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

He turns to look at her. She's Rose, he can tell. She's exactly how he remembers her, every detail. She even smells like Rose, even over the smell of this chip shop.

He reaches out, brushing her cheekbone with his forefinger. "I thought I might've been imagining you."

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

She bites her bottom lip and smiles just a bit. She reaches up and very carefully slips her hand up underneath his trying not to break his contact with her.

"Nope. I'm here. You should have known that I'd find you. No matter what. I'll always find you, Doctor."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

She's trying to be helpful, but her words break the moment, and he pulls back again, turning back to face the empty booth on the other side.

"I'm not the Doctor anymore, Rose. The Doctor's a lifetime ago."

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

Rose sighs softly, directing her gaze to the table as she tries to figure out how this goes.

"Alright. So what do you call you now?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Nothing," he says. "I don't really have to. Though my credit card says John Smith."

The plates of food arrive, rather unpleasantly dropped in front of them. The Doctor ignores the rudeness and reaches out for the vinegar.

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

"Oi...that was uncalled for," she says to the retreating waitress.

She doesn't mention that that's the name he uses as well.

"I have to call you something. If you'd prefer John, then that's what I'll call you."

She waits for him to use the vinegar, poking idly at her chips as she does.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"No, not particularly," the Doctor says, handing the vinegar to her. "But the Doctor travels in the TARDIS. The Doctor saves worlds. The Doctor lives out there, in the stars. Not me. I'm just here."

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

She takes the vinegar and shakes it all over her food before putting it back on the table.

"Who you are hasn't changed. Guess when I was trapped in that parallel universe I was just Rose Tyler. Not Rose Tyler, companion or Rose Tyler, defender of the earth. Just shop girl? Just like any other shop girl out there?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"You were still saving worlds," the Doctor says. "Still doing what you needed to. Me, I'm just..."

Waiting.

He's been waiting a long time.

"This was a bad idea, Rose, you don't want to see me like this."

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

"Doctor...I always want to see you. No matter what you're like. I don't regret showing up here. I never will," Rose tells him. She aches to reach out and touch him. Instead she knits her hands together on the table and stares at them.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"No," he snaps. "No, you don't. You don't know what I'm like now, Rose. I have nothing to lose, now."

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

"Still got me."

She's trying to remember how this goes; how to step on eggshells around him. She never had to do that with this incarnation and he seems a great deal worse off than he was when she first met him.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"And how's that supposed to help?" he snaps.

He immediately realizes this isn't what he meant to say, and he shakes his head, embarrassed.

"That's not what I meant."

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

She doesn't flinch at the way he snaps. Merely gnaws on her bottom lip before nodding very slightly.

"I know. I'm not the TARDIS or a purpose or anything at all. Just a girl but I've come a long way to find you. Again. Sort of hard to lose."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Do you know?" he asks, suddenly. "About the TARDIS?"

His words come out with just the slightest hint of hysteria and paranoia. It's been a long six months.

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

Rose shakes her head, wishing she could tell him something different. "Just sussed it out. You're trapped here. You said you were alone. Got nothing left to lose. Sorta figured something happened to her. Also sort of figured you'd tell me when you got ready."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"She's dead."

He wishes he could live in denial about that, but the empty space in his mind is an eternal reminder that no, the TARDIS is gone.

But not forever.

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

Rose is quiet for a long while. She picks at her food, pushing it around her plate. When she finally speaks it's very softly.

"M'sorry." She doesn't know what else to say. There's really nothing else to say. She takes a short, shallow breath and braces herself to be snubbed.

"Can I hug you?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

He thinks he might like a hug, actually. But he's not quite ready for one. Not yet.

"I need to find some more clothes." Without waiting, he drops a few bills onto the table and gets out of his seat.

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

She tries not to let the snub hurt. She was expecting it after all. She simply nods and gets out of her seat to follow him.

"Right a blue suit. Maybe a green one."

She's got nothing but time here. A whole lifetime. UNIT might eventually catch up to her but they're not likely to force her to go back even if they do.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Having to learn how to take care of clothes, too," he agrees.

He starts for the door, but finds himself waiting for her. Waiting for someone who cares about him. It's been a long time since he's felt like someone cares.

[iam-thebadwolf.livejournal.com]

"Right. We'll get you fixed up," Rose says. She's making an attempt to sound normal and it helps that he waits for her. Progress she thinks. Regardless of how little. She'll have to take baby steps with this version of the Doctor.