iwasherefirst | [01] We've been forever yet we've only just begun

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[01] We've been forever yet we've only just begun

They've already got the technology. They just haven't figured out how to track him yet. It takes Rose months and more jumps than she cares to count. Sometimes she thinks she's going to be pulled apart at the seams with all the jumping back and forth through time. They warn her that the odds are against her. They tell her she's only got this one planet to work with and he's got an entire Universe plus timelines they can't ever access. She tells them she'll take her chances.

When she ends up in San Francisco 1999, the equipment malfunctions. The jacket won't work and she's so frustrated, so tired so bereft that she almost cries right there in the middle of the wharf. Instead she pulls it together like he would and finds a place to sleep for a little while. Once she's had some rest it's time for fish and chips. They're almost as good as home and they go a long way toward making her feel better.

Right then. Might as well do some research while she's here. See if she can find out if he's been here recently. If he's scheduled to show up anytime soon. Library then a call into UNIT. Despite having a plan, she doesn't act on it. She'll wander a bit more, navigate her way through the people on the wharf and enjoy the day. She's never been to San Francisco in any time.

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"Longer."

He's not sure anymore. So much time was lost just running through the TARDIS, trying to stop the decay, stop her death. So much time. He thinks months, but centuries might be more apt.

"I've been in San Francisco about four months."

She nods, imagination spinning out to imagine the centuries he doesn't mention. Her eyes widen and panic butterflies in her stomach when he tells her how long he's been here. There are very few reasons he'd turn domestic. When she speaks she tries not to let any panic seep into her voice.

"Are you--that's about the time he left." She doesn't want to imagine, doesn't want to say the words because of what she's afraid they mean but she has to. "The TARDIS is--" and she doesn't finish the sentence, letting him fill in the blank with whatever he will.

"Here we go," he says, holding open the chip shop door for her. "Been a favorite place of mine. Don't think they care much for me. Well, they did, once I learned about washing my clothes."

The way he ignores her question speaks volumes. She may not know what happened to the TARDIS but she knows something did. And he survived. It's a relief that makes the panic die down. He's broken and not right but he's alive.

"Oi, you found the laundromat then?" she says as she steps through the door with a smile that's a little more forced than usual. She wants to hug him and hold him and let him know he's not alone anymore. Instead she keeps her hands firmly tucked in her pockets and the smile fixed on her face.

"Laundromat?" the Doctor asks, looking genuinely confused. "I found the sink in the hotel room."

She laughs, stopping herself just short of reaching out to tug playfully on the lapel of his jacket. "I'll have to show you the laundromat. S'got washing machines and everything."

"Well, I do need to buy a new suit today. This one's gone a bit threadbarren. Was thinking about finding it in blue again. Rather liked the blue."

He slips into a booth and gestures for her to sit across from him.

"The blue looked good on you," she agrees. "I could come with. Help you pick it out," she offers as she sits down across from him.

"Might not be bad," he agrees.

When the waitress arrives, she gives the Doctor an irritated look. The staff must still not like him for blowing up part of the kitchen when he tried to work here.

"Fish supper?" he asks Rose.

She catches the look the waitress gives the Doctor and wonders what he's done. Or maybe the waitress is just having a bad day.

"Yeah. Sounds brilliant," she nods. Her hands go to the top of the table. She knits her fingers together then loosens them then picks up a sugar packet to play with then puts it down.

"Can you pay this time?" the waitress asks, irritable.

"Yep," the Doctor says.

"Sorry, love, I have to see it."

The Doctor sighs, then reaches into his pocket and produces a number of crumpled-up bills. Satisfied, the woman heads back to put in their order.

"Maybe green. Do you think a green suit would look good?" he asks.

Oh. Well that would explain the irritation. She bites the inside of her cheek against smiling at the situation.

"Maybe with a blue penstripe running through it," she suggests. "No red trainers. You'll look a bit like Father Christmas."

"You think?" he asks. "Bit off from Christmas, though, isn't it? I've got a few more months until I have to worry about that."

The hotel'll be busy, he thinks. Ugh.

That makes Rose smile and she shakes her head. "Just meant you'd look like him. With the red and green together. Sort of colors used to decorate for Christmas."

They can always walk around a bit until then.

"Well, yes, I suppose."

He looks over his shoulder at the wharf. It's a beautiful day outside, but he can't really see that. The world looks gray.

"I think I've lose my sense of humor."

She hesitates, warring with herself against what she needs to do and what she thinks she should do. Finally she gets up and slides into the booth with him. She's not close enough to press her shoulder against his or her hip against his leg. She won't crowd him that much. Not yet.

"Good thing I showed up then."

He turns to look at her. She's Rose, he can tell. She's exactly how he remembers her, every detail. She even smells like Rose, even over the smell of this chip shop.

He reaches out, brushing her cheekbone with his forefinger. "I thought I might've been imagining you."

She bites her bottom lip and smiles just a bit. She reaches up and very carefully slips her hand up underneath his trying not to break his contact with her.

"Nope. I'm here. You should have known that I'd find you. No matter what. I'll always find you, Doctor."

She's trying to be helpful, but her words break the moment, and he pulls back again, turning back to face the empty booth on the other side.

"I'm not the Doctor anymore, Rose. The Doctor's a lifetime ago."

Rose sighs softly, directing her gaze to the table as she tries to figure out how this goes.

"Alright. So what do you call you now?"

"Nothing," he says. "I don't really have to. Though my credit card says John Smith."

The plates of food arrive, rather unpleasantly dropped in front of them. The Doctor ignores the rudeness and reaches out for the vinegar.

"Oi...that was uncalled for," she says to the retreating waitress.

She doesn't mention that that's the name he uses as well.

"I have to call you something. If you'd prefer John, then that's what I'll call you."

She waits for him to use the vinegar, poking idly at her chips as she does.

"No, not particularly," the Doctor says, handing the vinegar to her. "But the Doctor travels in the TARDIS. The Doctor saves worlds. The Doctor lives out there, in the stars. Not me. I'm just here."

She takes the vinegar and shakes it all over her food before putting it back on the table.

"Who you are hasn't changed. Guess when I was trapped in that parallel universe I was just Rose Tyler. Not Rose Tyler, companion or Rose Tyler, defender of the earth. Just shop girl? Just like any other shop girl out there?"

"You were still saving worlds," the Doctor says. "Still doing what you needed to. Me, I'm just..."

Waiting.

He's been waiting a long time.

"This was a bad idea, Rose, you don't want to see me like this."

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